You're Such A Muppet Wormtail
by Lestatic
Summary: Marauders EraIt's the first Hogsmeade Weekend for the marauders, but Peter has forgotten to get his permission slip signed so they have to go to Hogsmeade accompanied by a teacher. I SUCK at summaries. Please read anyway!:D


-1"You've got to be kidding Wormtail!" The irritated voice of Sirius Black exclaimed, "I managed to get mine signed!"  
"Well, it was just an accident." Peter Pettigrew replied, dragging his feet, as he slowly followed his three friends Sirius, James Potter and Remus Lupin.

"Well obviously you didn't do it on purpose." James sniped.

"I don't see what the big problem is," Remus reasoned, "It's not like he's never going to be able to go is it?"

"Yeah!" Chirped Peter, "As soon as we've worked out how to-"  
"But we don't know how long it's going to take us to figure out how to do it though do we?" James said, "I thought we'd have worked it out already, but we haven't so who knows how long it's going to take."  
"Well, maybe if we just talk to whoever the teacher is then they'll let him go," Remus suggested.  
"I doubt it, they'll probably have some grouchy git on," Sirius said, moodily, "Getting their jollies from stopping kids going,"

"Oh don't be so ridiculous." Remus said, a little irritably, "Anyway, if they don't let him go today and if we don't figure out how to get there ourselves before, it won't be that long until the next weekend and Peter will have his permission slip signed by then."

"Yeah, well, we can still try and get you there," Sirius said, as they approached the gates of the castle, a crowd of students were gathered around, gradually leaving the gates to head down to Hogsmeade village, but Sirius could see no member of staff, "Where's the teacher?"

"There." Remus said matter-of-factly, pointing towards the stone pillar, on top of which bore a giant winged boar.  
"Where?" James asked, looking in the direction of James's finger.  
"There." Remus said, pointing again, "That's Olivia Wyatt, the school councillor."

"Who?" Peter asked,  
"Liv," Remus said, "The school councillor."

"Really?" Sirius asked, an eyebrow raised, "She looks about fourteen."  
"She's Nineteen," Remus said.  
"I always forget that there's a school councillor," James said, absentmindedly, "How did you know who she was?"  
"I was introduced to her on my first night," Remus shrugged, "Dumbledore thought I should meet her, in case I ever needed anyone to talk to."  
"As if you couldn't talk to us." Sirius said, his attention turning back to Remus, "We're much better than some up themselves councillor."  
"She's not up herself." Remus said, shaking his head.  
"Yeah, well we're still better than her," Sirius shrugged, "But, she is a lady, and as you all know, the ladies love me."

He paused as though waiting for them to respond, but after a short delay of no one speaking he continued.  
"So I'll just go over there, work my natural magic and Peter here will be in Hogsmeade before you can say Sirius, I Lurve You." He said, with a grin, patting Peter's shoulder, and strolling forward towards Olivia, with every confidence that his charms could assure Peter to get to Hogsmeade. Remus suppressed a snort of laughter as he watched Sirius approach Olivia and listened to hear what he would say.

Sirius approached Olivia and turned around briefly to give an assuring wink of conviction to Peter that he would get him to Hogsmeade.  
"Alright?" He asked Olivia, flashing her a charming smile.  
"I'm fine Mr..?" She replied,  
"Black," Sirius replied, extending a hand, "Sirius Black,"  
"Oh yes," Olivia said, putting out her hand and shaking Sirius's briefly, "Yes, I know you, I've heard your name mentioned a few times in the staff room."  
"You've heard of me?" Sirius asked, feigning shock, (he had suspected she'd of heard of him, he was fully aware of his and James's reputations amongst the staff as mischief makers.) "All good I hope?"

"Not quite," Olivia replied with a small smile, "So anyway, Mr Black, do you really want to spend the day talking to me or do you want to go to Hogsmeade? Have you got your permission slip?"

"Well, I want to go to Hogsmeade of course, but.." Sirius said, his smile broadened, "See, my friend over there," He signalled over his shoulder to Peter and saw Olivia glance over, "has forgotten his permission slip, and I was wondering if maybe you could let him just go, he'd be in safe hands, and then I was thinking maybe _you _would care to join me in the Three-"  
"Mr Black," Olivia said over him, "If your friend has not got his permission slip then I am afraid he cannot go, and as tempting as your offer is," she said with a sarcastic tone, "no amount of persuasion can convince me to break school policy and let him go without parental permission, now can I have your permission slip?"

Sirius sighed and nodded his head, his eyes turned to the heavens as he gave her his permission slip and walked back to his friends.  
"Smooth move Romeo," Remus said, his voice full of laughter, "You really bowled her over with your charms."

"Shut up," Sirius replied, a smirk still on his face, though he seemed slightly shocked his charms had not worked, "She clearly wanted me, and it was a better shot at getting him to Hogsmeade than you gave."  
"Yeah," Said James, "Well, maybe she can resist the charms of Padfoot," He said, a smile spreading as slipped a hand in his pockets, "But maybe _I _can convince her to let him go."

Remus raised an eyebrow and Sirius and Peter looked equally curious as to what James intended to do, but before they got to ask he had stepped up to Olivia.  
"Hi," James said, handing over his permission slip straight to Olivia.  
"Hello Mr Potter," Olivia said, reading his name from his slip and crossing his name from the list of students before her.  
"Look, Professor Wyatt is it?" James asked, smiling, as Olivia looked up,  
"Olivia" Olivia said, "I'm a councillor, not a teacher, I don't really go by Professor,"  
"Well, Olivia," James said, "The thing is my friend has-"  
"Forgotten his permission slip," Olivia said, nodding her head, "Yes I know Mr Potter, but as I have told Mr Black there is nothing I can do to change the fact that he can't go. It's school policy."  
"Well yeah, I know, but perhaps.." James said, as he withdrew his hand from the inner pocket of his robes and held a handful of shiny gold galleons to her, "A few of my little gold friends could persua-"  
"Mr Potter!" Olivia said, stopping him.

James sensed that his bribery would not work and nodded his head.  
"Yes Miss. That was very wrong. I'm sorry," He said quickly and backed off, heaving a sigh as he turned back to his friends, pocketing the gold.

"I did my best," He sighed to Peter, "Sorry mate. What are you laughing at?" He added, throwing a look at Remus, who was laughing almost hysterically.

"You two," He chortled, pointing at Sirius and James.

"Well, I don't see you coming up with any ideas." Sirius said.

"Just wait here," Remus said, rolling his eyes. "Let me give it a shot."

"He won't do it." James said, as he left, shaking his head.  
"Nah, of course he won't." Sirius said, "If she's shot us down, he's not going to get her to change her mind."

"Hey." Remus said, as he approached Liv, well aware that the other three were watching and listening, "Look, I'm not going to try and bribe you or anything."  
"I should expect not," Liv smiled, "Have you got your slip?"

"Yeah, here," Remus said, handing his slip to Liv. "But he does really want to go, he just forgot his slip, is there no way he can possibly go?"

"Not really," Liv said, "Not without parental permission, it's just because he'd be wondering around without supervision."  
"Yeah but we all would be,"

"Yeah, but you've all got permission." Liv said, "I really can't see any way he ca-"

"Well, what about if you come with us?" Remus asked.

"What?"

"Well, you said that he's only not allowed because he's unsupervised," Remus said, "If you come with us then he's got supervision."

"I hardly think that'll sit too well," Liv said, "You don't really want a teacher trailing you all day do you?"

"Yeah, but you're hardly a proper teacher." Remus said, "I mean, well, you know what I mean, they'll not mind you being there."  
"You don't think?" Liv asked, looking sceptically at James and Sirius.

"Well, they'll probably moan a bit, but that's only cause they don't know you," Remus said, fairly, "After today, they'll be fine, Sirius will probably try putting his moves on you."  
"Are you trying to convince me this is a bad idea?" Liv laughed.  
"No," Remus smiled, "I'm just saying, you know, they'll be fine with you being there, I mean, it gets Peter to Hogsmeade."  
"I'll have to check it over with Professor Dumbledore," Liv said, "However, it will probably be fine and I think it's the only way that he's going to be able to get out."

"Great!" Remus exclaimed.

"Give me five minutes, meet me back here okay?" Liv asked.  
"Yeah, sure." Remus smiled, waving as Liv checked off the last student from her list and headed back up to the castle, apparently to check with Dumbledore. With a grin, Remus turned around and walked back to his friends.  
"Well?" Sirius said, as soon as he reached them.  
"You two are so lame." Remus said.  
"What? You got her to change her mind?" James asked, surprised, but grinning nonetheless.

"Of course," Remus grinned.

"Mint!" Sirius exclaimed, "How did you do it?"

"Well, that's the thing, he is allowed to go but-"

"But? Oh I hate the word but." James said. "What's the but?"

"But, Liv has to come with us." Remus said, prepared for outrage.  
"What?" Sirius and James predictably exclaimed in unison.

"Well, there's no other way he could go otherwise." Remus said, "And she's not that bad, she's not even really like a teacher."  
"Oh come off it," Sirius said.  
"We can't really talk about much with a teacher there can we?" James said.

"Well, it's the best we're going to get." Remus said, "And I'm sure that we can hold off talking about stuff we're not supposed to for a couple of hours."  
"I suppose." James sighed, "And at least Wormtail can come now."  
"Yeah, yeah, you're right," Sirius said, "Nice one Moony, I suppose."  
"Thanks." Remus said, nodding his head and grinning at the three of them. "She'll be back in about five minutes and then we can go."

The others nodded, all looking slightly uncomfortable and nervous about having to spend the afternoon with a teacher, but apparently accepting the fact that this was the only way.  
"You're such a muppet Peter." Were Sirius's last words before Liv was spotted heading back from the castle.


End file.
